


The Things Never Said

by LuckyLadybug



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Era, Cemetery, Character Death, During Canon, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:09:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29969628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyLadybug/pseuds/LuckyLadybug
Summary: An alternate, darker exploration of events from my story The Night After, which takes place immediately after Lawton's defeat. What if Kalin was unable to revive Radley? How would that weigh on him and what would he start thinking about?
Kudos: 1





	The Things Never Said

**Author's Note:**

> The characters are not mine and the story is! I was thinking about some angles I hadn't explored as much in my fic The Night After, and after I wrote Devil in the Bottle it really felt like they needed more exploring. So I started writing this alternate and much darker version of The Night After's basic events, or some of them. Originally it was going to be a very short experiment. It blossomed. And I swear I didn't set out to torture poor Kalin as much as it ended up. It just kind of . . . unfolded that way and seemed to make sense with Kalin's personality. Although one thing I can say, the ending turned out much different than originally planned too! This is partially written with the inspiration of the 31 Days prompt from February 5th 2021, Memory.

The cemetery at Crash Town had always been dark and cold, a sea of identical graves marked only by the deceased's Duel Guns. No one knew exactly who was buried in most graves; there were no names. The only grave that was recognizable was the newest one, and the only reason Kalin knew who was buried there was because he had dug the grave himself and placed the coffin in the ground. He had wanted the task since there was nothing else he could do for that unfortunate soul. He was kneeling there now, sickened, haunted by the memories that wouldn't leave him alone.

They hadn't known each other long. And it had only been a business arrangement; Kalin had joined him to duel for him, hoping to punish himself by losing. His boss was nothing to him, just a selfish and greedy punk who wanted to get rich and was willing to fight for control of a town to do it.

Only . . . now that it was too late . . . Kalin was remembering a wash of incidents that told a much different story now that Kalin's mind was clear enough to grasp it.

Radley had generally been friendly. Kalin had thought it was just because he was useful. But Radley had treated all of his men the same way, whether they dueled for him or not. And the men had loved him and followed him. Maybe their devotion hadn't just been blind. Maybe they had seen what Kalin had not, that Radley cared about them and looked after them when no one else would.

He didn't mistreat his men or even the labor in the mines. They were well-fed and given shelter. It was bad business to hurt them, he had told Kalin the first time they had met. But . . . had it always only been about business? The genuine love the men had for Radley said otherwise.

Radley had been frustrated, even angry, when he had found Kalin completely drunk one night. But he had taken Kalin home with him and looked after him and even covered him with a throw. He had given Kalin a hangover remedy the next day and had let him stay there when he felt too horrible to move.

Kalin had always spurned every friendly gesture, certain that Radley either wasn't sincere or that even if he was, Kalin didn't deserve it. He had ignored the hurt in Radley's eyes again and again.

Radley had been taken prisoner with Kalin and Yusei, but when they had escaped, neither of them had even thought about him or tried to find him. He had found Nico and West's father alive after his fall and had struggled to get help for him, but that act had cost him his life. Kalin had found him dead, tortured to death by the inhumane shock collar Malcolm's men had made him wear, and no amount of trying to revive him had worked. Now Kalin had to live with that.

"I was too wrapped up in my own pain to see anything from any other point of view," Kalin said sadly. "You weren't a saint, but . . . you weren't a devil either. Your men loved you. Maybe . . . maybe you really were trying to be friends. Now it's too late." He touched the unfolded Duel Gun sadly. "I left you behind and you died because of that. I am . . . so sorry. So very sorry."

The memories were all too loud in the cold night.

_"Hey, Kalin! That was another victory well-earned. Let's celebrate with a little cactus cider, shall we?"_

_"You know, if you're not doing anything tonight, you're welcome to come over to my place after the boys get all that celebrating out of their systems. We could talk, play a little music, maybe have a casual duel. What do you say?"_

_"I'm the last person you expected to see, huh? Here. It's a genuine, authentic hangover remedy from Spain. My grandmother invented it."_

_"Okay, Kalin. If you don't want to talk about what's bugging you, I won't pry. Just . . . please, find a different way to deal with your pain! And no drugs either!"_

_"Kalin might be crazy, but I still believe in him."_

_"This is all your fault! If you hadn't lost that duel, we wouldn't be in this mess! Now we'll be stuck here for the rest of our lives, breaking our backs day and night!"_

Radley had finally snapped when they had been sent to the mines. He had been so afraid and had felt so helpless. Maybe he wouldn't have ever forgiven Kalin for losing that duel. But Kalin really hadn't lost on purpose. Once Radley had calmed down, he surely would have realized that.

It really didn't matter that Kalin hadn't lost on purpose, though. Not when he had just left Radley there alone to die.

"Why didn't we find you and take you with us?" he whispered. "Why. . . ."

He really hadn't thought Radley would be killed. He had thought Radley would be freed with the other prisoners. But that sounded so hollow now.

_It had been a long, hard process for Sector Security to arrest those who needed arresting and find all the prisoners in the mines. Yusei, Jack, and Crow had been helping take care of the living and injured prisoners, and to see that Jordan and others were taken to the hospital. Kalin had been going to help with that as well, only to his sickened horror, he had discovered that some of the prisoners had been found dead. Malcolm's part of the mine was absolutely brutal._

_He looked at every body that came back from the mountain. After all, someone should see their faces one last time. He didn't recognize any of them, but it was still a sobering, sickening experience. Crow, realizing what he was doing, tactfully steered Nico and West away and made sure they focused on their father. At one point, Yusei looked over in concern and Kalin silently told him to stay with the children and not let them see this. The message was received and Yusei left with the ambulance._

_Trudge stopped him before he got to the last body. "This poor guy, he gave his life trying to save Jordan. We wouldn't have found him in time otherwise. Dropped dead right in front of my officer. He never saw anything like it. Electrocution's . . . not a good way for anybody to go."_

_Kalin slowly pulled back the sheet . . . and suddenly felt faint. The one prisoner he knew besides Yusei and Jordan, both of whom were alive. . . . "Radley?!"_

_"Radley?" Trudge said in disbelief. "The other ringleader?!"_

_Kalin just stared blankly into the lifeless face. The last time he had seen Radley, one of Malcolm's guards had been pulling cruelly on his hair and dragging him off to work a different section of the mine. At the time, Kalin had thought it was just because Radley had blown up at him. But . . . had it been for a different reason? Had they just wanted to torture him to death because he was the opposite leader? He should still be alive. For him to be dead, they must have been hurting him worse._

_"Radley . . ." Kalin touched the side of Radley's face. So cold. . . ._

_"Hey!" Trudge exclaimed. "What's the deal?! Are you okay?!"_

_Kalin still ignored his questions. "How long has he been dead?"_

_"Oh, you're allowed to ask questions," Trudge snorted. "It must be close to an hour now. My man tried to revive him at the time, but he couldn't, and we needed to find Jordan and get him out while he still had a chance. . . ."_

_Kalin pulled the sheet down farther and pressed hard on Radley's chest._

_Trudge jumped. "What the . . . ?! What the heck are you doing?!"_

_"I have to try to get him back," Kalin said through gritted teeth._

_"Why?!" Trudge frowned. "Who the heck is he to you?!"_

_"He was nothing to me," Kalin said sadly. "And that's why this happened to him."_

_It was chilling to keep trying so hard to revive his former boss's body. There was no response from the chest compressions, so Kalin finally bent lower to attempt artificial respiration._

_It was impossible not to think about Yusei and the Dark Signer horror when Kalin pressed his mouth over Radley's. Under the evil of the Dark Signers' magic, Kalin had tried so hard to kill Yusei—the person who meant more to him than anyone else—for an imagined wrong. Now, free of that evil and finally on the road to redemption, Kalin was giving his all to try to restore a life that hadn't meant anything to him before._

_Radley's skin was so cold. No matter how Kalin tried, there was still no response to anything he did. Finally he pulled back, staring at the man in horror._

_"Come on," he pleaded. "Radley . . . come back. Please . . ."_

_Trudge had been right; after an hour, there was no possible hope. Kalin shut his eyes tightly as his heart clenched._

_"You shouldn't be dead," he whispered. "You deserved to live. This is my fault. This is all my fault. . . ." He bent down, lifting Radley's body into his arms._

_"Oh, now what are you doing?!" Trudge cried in disbelief._

_Kalin straightened. "I'm taking him to the morgue myself," he said. "It's the only thing I can do for him now."_

_He started off down the lonely street. It was dark now, the sun long gone. Radley had died around sunset, the same time Kalin had been beating Lawton with Infernity Doom Slinger. Jordan had been found alive; he would have a chance to recover now, because of Radley. The cruel death hadn't been in vain. But that didn't make Kalin feel any better about it._

_The funeral director looked up from the front desk with a start when Kalin came through the door of the funeral parlor. "There's so much business today I can hardly keep up. . . . What? . . . Radley?!" he said in horror as he took in the scene._

_Kalin looked at him with deadened eyes. "He's dead," he said. "I want to pay for his burial."_

_"Dead?!" The funeral director came from around the desk, looking at the lifeless form in disbelief. "But . . . he was with you! Why didn't you help him?!"_

_Kalin felt like he had been punched in the stomach. "Because I was too wrapped up in myself," he said._

_The man shot him a look filled with acid. "Give him to me."_

_Kalin vainly checked one final time for a pulse before passing the body to the funeral director. "I'll wait here," he said. "I'm going to bury him now, tonight."_

_"Anxious to get rid of him, are you?" the man spat._

_"N-" Kalin's voice caught in his throat. "No." He turned away. "Please . . . just hurry."_

_He heard the funeral director putter off, but he didn't turn back. Instead he just collapsed hard into a chair and covered his face with a hand._

_Why did he want to bury Radley so quickly? Did he think the man would be able to rest in peace? Did he think that it was better that way, especially when all of Radley's men had abandoned him? Or did he think it would be a way to put this new guilt and anguish behind him? Somehow he had to pull himself together, to be strong for Nico and West. They were going to need him. And he had to help in Jordan's recovery; the kids wouldn't be able to do it all._

_And paying for Radley's burial. . . . What a sick, ironic joke. The money he had had been given to him by Radley, payment for dueling for him._

_It felt like his heart was in a vise. "Yusei," he whispered. "I wish you were here. . . ." But he had sent Yusei on to the hospital with the kids. Yusei probably didn't even know what had happened, unless Trudge had caught up by now and told him. Yusei would definitely come as soon as he knew._

_He didn't know how long he had been sitting there when the funeral director returned, his expression still icy. "You're going to need transportation out to the cemetery," he said coolly. "You can take the hearse."_

_Kalin's heart dropped. "The same one that took people to the mountain?!"_

_"That's the only one we've got," the director said with a curt nod._

_Kalin shut his eyes tightly. "Alright," he said at last. "How much do I owe you?"_

_"Pay when you get back," was the reply. "I'll calculate the charges for using the hearse and add that on to your bill."_

_Almost mechanically, Kalin went around back and climbed onto the buckboard of the old carriage. He couldn't bear to look in the back right now. His heart in anguish, he snapped the reins and let the horses lead the way._

_The cemetery was so cold and dark. There had always seemed to be a supernatural force permeating the town, and now Kalin could feel it all the more acutely. He got out, letting the glow from the two lanterns on the hearse light light the bare spot he had elected to use._

_He only saw the coffin when he climbed down and went around the back to collect the shovel. It was hard enough to see it there and know that Radley's body was inside. Maybe he would regret not taking one last look . . . but the lid was probably nailed down anyway, wasn't it? And he had already spent far too much time holding the body in his arms. He couldn't do that again. He turned away, pulling the shovel with him._

_Every shovelful of dirt was another stabbing pain, another guilt. He couldn't not blame himself. And once Yusei learned what had happened, he would probably blame himself. Maybe they were both to blame. And Malcolm's guards were guilty, of course. And it had partially been Radley's own fault for agreeing to duel for new labor, but . . . assigning blame all over the place didn't make Kalin feel any less horrible for whatever part he had played._

_He was numb by the time he finally dug deep enough. He climbed out of the hole and went back to the hearse, letting down the back panel and the ramp. Slowly he slid the coffin down the ramp and used the included pulleys to lower it into the hole. Covering the grave wasn't that difficult. But by the time he finished and found the Duel Gun in the hearse to use as a marker, he was absolutely spent. He fell to his knees, mourning the life lost he hadn't been able to save._

He was still kneeling there as the memories of the past two months and the last two hours continued to overwhelm him. The cemetery was still cold and dark, and it felt even moreso now that Radley was buried within it.

"Why did I do this?" Kalin said aloud. "Why didn't I wait to see if we could have a real funeral? Did I think no one would have mourned you with me? Billy and Marty and all the others . . . they abandoned you, just like I did. But it was worse with them, since they actually cared about you. Maybe I thought you wouldn't have been well-remembered when you were part of the problem in town. Only . . . it was really because of you that things didn't spiral completely out of control. You were the only thing really holding Malcolm and Lawton at bay. I failed you, and although I helped save the town, I couldn't save you. If we'd taken you with us, you'd be alive right now." But Jordan would be dead, most likely. So that was it? One life had to be traded for another?

". . . Maybe I did this to punish myself," he realized. "I didn't want any help; I just wanted to do it alone. I guess . . . it's going to take a while to completely get rid of that mindset. This is one last thing I caused with my self-destructive behavior. I never wanted to take someone else down with me. I am so sorry. Not that it does any good now. I just hope . . . you can be at peace. I don't think that I can."

". . . Kalin . . . ?"

He was just starting to get up when he heard the weak, soft-spoken voice. All color drained from his face. He spun around. In the darkness, all he could see was the silhouette of a man leaning heavily on the bottom of the plateau, gripping it with one hand. He was shaking, barely able to stand. His long hair fell half-over the right side of his face, just like . . .

Nothing made sense. But Kalin ran to him and reached to support him. "It . . . can't be," he whispered. "It can't. . . ."

Radley fell into his arms, desperately gripping his shoulders as he fought for balance. "You really thought . . . and you're grieving over me?!"

" . . . I buried you!" Kalin finally burst out. "How . . . ?!"

". . . The funeral director found I was alive," Radley rasped. "You thought you'd failed, but you must have brought me back."

Kalin shook his head. "I checked again before I gave him your body. You were dead!"

Radley looked shaken by that. "I don't know how to explain it," he said. "But I remember the darkness all around, except for one spot of light. I tried to follow that light, and for a while it was holding still. Then it was suddenly farther away again. I reached out for it . . . and I woke up and fell off the slab."

Kalin stared at him. "But . . . if he knew . . . then why . . ."

Radley's eyes darkened. "He was angry with you for leaving me in the mine, so he put another prisoner's body in the coffin before giving it to you. I . . . couldn't believe it when I was aware enough that he told me what he'd done. But . . . I also couldn't believe my death would matter to you that much. I made him bring me out to try to find you. . . . I had to tell you about the cruel deception. And . . . I guess I couldn't help morbidly wanting to see how you were reacting. I watched you for a few minutes before I said anything. I'm sorry for that." He looked away in shame. "I just . . . couldn't believe it. . . . I couldn't believe you would care that much about me."

Kalin was still holding onto him, trembling, barely able to believe that any of this was real. It had to be a delusion! But . . . if it wasn't . . . if he really had another chance . . .

"Radley . . . I am so sorry," he choked out. "You tried so hard to reach out to me and I kicked you away every time. And I . . . I just left you there to suffer. . . . I don't blame the funeral director for hating me. I wouldn't blame you if you did either."

"He did a horrible, twisted thing," Radley said. "I didn't condone it at all. Kalin, I don't hate you. But . . . you . . . you're different than you were. . . ."

"I see things clearly now," Kalin said. "I didn't before. And you shouldn't be standing!" he exclaimed. "You were electrocuted!"

"Oh, I know," Radley said dryly. "I know that all too well. I don't recommend the experience to anybody."

If the situation hadn't been so serious, Kalin might have been amused by Radley's dripping sarcasm.

"I'll get you back to town," Kalin determined. "You're badly hurt! You need to be in the hospital! And I . . . I'll look after you, like you tried to do for me."

"Really, Kalin?" Radley looked up at him. "This isn't just some kind of guilty conscience penance? I don't need or want that."

Kalin shook his head. "You wanted to be friends when I wasn't in any kind of a mental state to recognize it. But now I do, and . . . that's what I want too. . . . If you can forgive me and are willing to try again. . . ."

Radley hesitated. "You . . . really didn't know what I wanted?"

"I was full of self-hatred and depression when I came here," Kalin said. "If I recognized anything you did at all, I thought I didn't deserve it. It was only because of Yusei and the kids that I finally got my mind clear again. When I found you laying dead, so many other things became clear to me. But . . . I thought it was too late to fix it. . . ."

"You saved me, Kalin," Radley insisted. "Everyone else had given up on me, but you kept trying to bring me back. And you did." He finally managed a smile. "Yes, I forgive you. And I'm willing to try again."

Kalin smiled too. Somehow, incredibly, he had another chance. And he was going to take it.

The sound of approaching motorcycles brought them both to attention. Yusei and Jack were pulling up at the cemetery and parking, their eyes filled with worry. "Kalin!" Yusei called.

Kalin stared at them. "Yusei . . . Jack . . . what about the kids?!"

"We left Crow with them," Jack barked. "Trudge showed up and told us what happened with you, that you got all bent out of shape over finding your former boss dead and not being able to bring him back."

Yusei nodded. "We had to come find you." He got off his motorcycle and walked over. "We also stopped at the funeral parlor in case you were still there, and the guy there told us quite a story about what his boss did." His voice darkened. "And apparently he helped."

". . . What did you do?" Radley asked.

"Let's just say he's going to need to plan a visit to his dentist," Jack said darkly. "And so will the funeral director, when I find him!"

". . . Okay. I'll have to remember to never make you angry," Radley said.

Jack shot him a Look. "Who is this bloke, Kalin? Is he really worth everything you went through tonight?!"

Kalin looked from Jack to Radley and smiled. "He's a friend," he said. "Yes, he's worth it."

Yusei smiled too. "Let's go back," he said. "All of us, together."

Kalin nodded. "Together," he repeated.

Yusei and Jack rode off, leading the way. Kalin helped Radley walk back over to the funeral director's car in the shadows. It wasn't the way he wanted to ride back, but Radley was too badly hurt to try climbing up to the buckboard of the carriage. They needed the car.

The funeral director shrank back in the seat in shame. "I . . . I don't know what to say," he stammered. "I don't know what came over me. I . . ."

"What you did was sickening." Kalin's voice was dark. "And there's probably more than one crime you can be charged with. But . . . I won't be pressing any charges myself."

The man slowly looked up at him in shock. "You . . . won't?!"

"No, because I don't blame you for being angry with me," Kalin said. "I was angry with myself too. Still, I do blame you for how you decided to act on your anger, especially since you brought possible harm on the person you were trying to take revenge for. The police can decide what to do with you." He opened the back door. "Drive us into town."

Radley shakily climbed inside and Kalin followed, pulling the door shut after them.

The funeral director gave a shaky nod, not about to protest such a more than reasonable request. "Of . . . of course," he stammered. "The only thing is . . . the hearse. . . ."

"You can go back for it later," Kalin said. "Radley should have been taken to the hospital as soon as he revived. Instead, he's been chasing all over town trying to find me! And all because of you."

Finally the man looked horrified as it dawned on him what he had caused. Now he was more than willing to drive.

Kalin looked to Radley in concern as they started out at last. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'll be alright," Radley said. "After all this, you don't really think I wouldn't be, do you?" He smirked. "I'm going to stick around for a very long time. Unless . . ." His eyes flickered in sudden worry. "I'm going to The Facility. . . ."

"No," Kalin said firmly. "You're not. You're staying right here. And when you're better . . . we've got a lot of work to do rebuilding this town." He smirked too. "Do you think you're up for it?"

"I've always been a hard worker," Radley said. "But the work is always easiest with a friend."

"Then we'll do just fine," Kalin said.

It was incredible how everything had turned around. The last couple of hours had been a nightmare. But now, the horror had ended and reality was actually bright. Kalin's heart was full.


End file.
